The Decision
I'm taking my talents to...
I swear I don’t really have an ego, and I’m not trying to compare myself to Lebron, just having some fun…
I had written about a month ago about the unfortunate and untimely demise of the Oswego River Hawks (you can find it here if you’re curious and haven’t read it, or just want to re-read it). That article was 100% accurate and factual at the time.
I’m extremely pleased to say that the circumstances have changed, and the team will continue. As I understand it, credit needs to go (at least primarily, if not completely) to Nate Schultzkie for making it happen. The River Hawks are a great organization and an asset to the City of Oswego, the NABLL, and the lacrosse community in general.
With that being said, I will not be returning to Oswego this year. Instead, I’ll be playing for the Big Woods Smashers in Basom, NY. If you keep reading, you’ll find out why.
As painful as the previous article was for me to write, this one comes close. I’m not going to rehash everything good I said about the River Hawks in my previous article - I’ve linked to it (here it is again) if you’re so inclined. I will repeat, though, that I have nothing but love and respect for the entire organization - from management to the players themselves. It was an honor and a pleasure to be with them for the last 3 seasons, and I will miss them (though I have mentioned I’ll still come to their games and help them out when it doesn’t conflict with my schedule). I won’t lie - I had envisioned potentially playing out the rest of my days there, and was looking forward to it. Hopefully they can stick around long-term - I have every intention of ending my career there, and then sticking around in some sort of capacity, coaching perhaps?
But there are other factors at play. Two primary ones, specifically - first is the distance. Oswego is nearly an hour and a half from my house to the rink. That’s three hours and 150 miles each trip - once a week for practice, and then games as scheduled. And within the Upstate East division, they are the closest team. That means three times per year (would be four this year with the addition of the St. Regis Braves) I would be travelling even further for games. And honestly while I enjoy driving and travelling in general, that gets to be a lot. And with gas prices where they are now and where they’re headed, those trips are becoming less and less sustainable, where an alternative exists.
The other primary factor is that I need to face reality and acknowledge that I’m not getting any younger. I’m 46 years old, and most of us are well aware that I really haven’t taken great care of my body (or mind) over the years. I know that my time playing competitively is limited, and that I need to take advantage of it while I can. That’s taking the long way to saying I want to play more than I have been. From my NABLL start with the Salt City Eels to my three seasons in Oswego, I understood my role as a backup, and embraced that role. In 2024, I voluntarily gave up playing for the season because we had three goaltenders on the roster as good or better than me. I still showed up every week for practice and put 100% into it, and came to every game with my equipment bag just in case, but rather than force the coaching staff to make a difficult decision (which may well have been me anyway), I told them I’d sit out, and they could go with the other three.
After that season, I did some thinking. I don’t regret that decision - it was best for the team, even if it wasn’t ideal for me. But I wasn’t going to let it happen again. I was going to make changes in my life to allow me to continue playing, and to get better. I quit drinking (currently at just over 18 months sober) and smoking (16 months). I improved my game, even if I wasn’t physically in better shape. I feel like each week I got better. But in the end, it didn’t seem worth it. The effort I put in - the travel, the practices, quitting drinking and smoking (which I do realize makes me healthier anyway, but still - I made the decision to quit those primarily for lacrosse) - didn’t seem to pay off with more playing time. I’m sure there are reasons for that, and it’s possible there’s a disconnect between my valuation of my skills and that of the coaching staff, and that’s okay - it’s happened before and it will probably happen again.
But after our regional semifinal loss in Alexandria Bay, I made two decisions. The first is that for the 2026 season, I wasn’t going to automatically go back to Oswego. I’ve always been one to make the easy decision, and not put myself out there (it was out of character for me to reach out to them in 2023 and join them anyway), but this year would be different. I was going to explore other opportunities, and find someplace where not only would I fit in, but I would also see playing time. It wouldn’t necessarily mean I’d be the starter - if it worked out that way, great. But I at least wanted more than just mop-up duty a couple times a year.
The second decision was also something new and different for me - I was going to try. Now this isn’t to say that I didn’t give full effort before. My entire time in the NABLL, both with the Eels and River Hawks, I gave 100% at every practice and every game, and in whatever was asked of me. Sure, some days that 100% may have been less than the day before, but we all have bad days. When I say “I was going to try", it means that I wasn’t just going to sit around waiting for next season to start. Historically, once the season ended, I would play sparingly - maybe once a month or so at the Webster box, or a guest appearance at the Fedder if they were desperate. (Complicating things was the fact that I had to have meniscus surgery after the 2022 season - I took some time off to try to rest it and avoid surgery, then I had to recover). Not this year.
After the season ended in late July, I took a couple of weeks off, primarily because the first week of August is our annual family trip to the Adirondacks. Once I got back, though, I played nearly every opportunity I had. If I said no to playing somewhere, it was either because I was committed to playing elsewhere, or otherwise committed to something else (it seems like every time I have tickets to a show, I’m asked to play…). If I was free, I was playing. And I even expanded on where I would play. Much of September and October, that was driving out to Oswego to play 3-on-3 in their outdoor box. Certainly saw plenty of action at the Webster box, including playing goal for the Webster Thomas High School team. Heading to Burnet Park in Syracuse on Tuesdays for pickup. Last Sunday, I drove to Oneida for a run. I’d do that one more often if it wasn’t two hours away.
I also started going to the gym regularly. Since last season ended, I’ve lost somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 pounds. I feel like I’m in the best shape of my adult life (even if I’m not at my lightest), and I think my game is the best it’s ever been. For the first time, I’m actually ready to go.
So then the question became… where do I go? The easiest answer, of course, was Oswego - it’s familiar, and there’s always the chance that my effort would be recognized and rewarded, but that was only a chance, and wasn’t guaranteed by any stretch (which I do understand). The next easiest option would be the Seneca Lake Serpents. Their owner, Chris Crane, is someone I consider to be one of my closest lacrosse friends - he’s the one that got me into the Webster box for the first time, and if not for that, none of this might have happened. Their GM, Brian McVaugh, is a former teammate of mine from the Eels, and someone who I respect, even if he is a Bandits fan. And Chris and I have talked about me going to play for him seemingly every year since he started the team. This year was probably the closest I’ve come to doing it, and I swear I will play there for at least one season before I hang up my gear for the last time. (I kind of feel like Ben Wyatt and the accounting firm on Parks and Rec - always coming close, never actually doing it). I had even reached out to SpaceLax on Instagram about their tryouts - East Aurora is almost the same distance and time as Oswego, so it wouldn’t have solved that, but if I was going to play, I wouldn’t care. But I didn’t hear back from them, and by the time they announced their tryouts, I had made my decision (and was busy those nights anyway).
At pickup one night in Syracuse, I was talking to Doc Nelson, the GM of the River Hawks (and my opposing goalie that night), and he mentioned that a new team was being entered, based in Basom, NY. If you’re not familiar with Basom, I don’t blame you. It’s a tiny little hamlet in Genesee County, located in between Rochester and Buffalo. And the team isn’t really in the hamlet of Basom, it’s on the Tonawanda Indian Reservation (which uses Basom as their mailing address, as far as I know). Tonawanda has a Can-Am team as well (Braves), but wanted an NABLL team to give more people the opportunity to play their game. I later saw that they had, indeed, registered a team, the “Big Woods Smashers,” and had a tryout scheduled, so I reached out to them to ask about attending, and they said to come on out. That got me a little excited, honestly, because the tryout was scheduled for the team’s home field (and also the home field of the Braves), Logan Field. I went to a couple of Braves games last year with my friend Steve Buck, and after about 5 minutes at the first game, I said “I want to play here someday”. Now I had the chance. But given that Logan is outdoors, the weather can play a factor, and it did for the tryout - it was moved to East Aurora.
So I packed up the car and drove to East Aurora and tried out. And honestly, I put everything I had into it that night, and played about as well as I ever have. And at the end, they said “practice is next week at Logan Field, we’ll see you there”. That’s a good sign. So the following week I went to practice. Before practice started, though, I had a conversation with Kelsey Sundown, who is running the team. I told him I wanted to be fully transparent and let him know I was considering other teams, but I was going to end up where I felt would give me the best opportunity to play. I won’t detail his response here, but will say that it made it an easy decision.
Besides that, it’s almost the closest team to home (Serpents are the same distance but a couple of minutes quicker), and saves me 50 miles and an hour compared to Oswego. Two of the three regional opponents are closer than Oswego too, so 5 of 6 regional games would be closer than I would go for any regional game with Oswego, and the last one is closer than any team in Upstate East besides Oswego.
But also importantly, it’s the closest team to home. I grew up in Genesee County, Lived there from about 3 days old until I was almost 25. Went to school there. I even used to go to the Tonawanda Reservation for tax-free cigarettes and gas! So to have the opportunity to play closer to my family and old friends, and give them the opportunity to watch me do what I do best, was something I couldn’t pass up. (Not that I’m expecting anyone to come, but you’re all welcome to!)
And lastly, it’s an opportunity to play The Creator’s Game on native land. If you know me and my thoughts on lacrosse at all, you know how seriously I take the game’s origins, and how important those origins are to me.. While I may not share in their belief of the Creator, it doesn’t matter. The Haudenosaunee believe that the Creator gave them lacrosse, and they play it to honor the Creator. When I play, I do the same. I try to respect the game in that manner, and respect the beliefs of the Haudenosaunee. It’s their game, I’m just borrowing it. I do put a lot of stock into the origins and history of the game, and try to let that show when I play.
(I also believe that lacrosse is “the medicine game”, but that’s a story for another time.)
So there you have it - a lot of words when I could have just said “I’m playing for the Smashers”, but where would the fun have been in that?
Thanks for reading, and follow along on my lacrosse journey on Instagram at @smokeylax. And be good to each other!